Chapter 9: Alterations and Adjustments - October 1941 to December 1941

We are fortunate that in this country as far as possible the Universities are carrying on as usual. In Europe the plight of the students is very different.

The Nazi idea of total war is that no phase of life shall escape its influence. And this applies not only to occupied territories but also to those countries who are satellites of the Third Reich.
All are expected to spread Nazi ideology and hasten the advent of the new order in Europe.

The odour of Hitlerism has become part of the very atmosphere with the conception of a superior Aryan race backed up by pseudo-scientific theories and distortions of history.

I can imagine how our Chemistry lectures could be made to show that all important discoveries were made by men of Aryan stock, because I am totally ignorant of the historical details, but I know there are such great scientists as Leibnitz and Leibig, who sound like Germans to me, but could in fact be Austrians or Czechoslovakians.

In an English lecture since, I have heard that Shakespeare was really written by someone called Bacon.
I would equally well believe it if one of my fellow students said to me today our English professor told us “It is not well known but the works of Shakespeare were written by Professor Scheinwesen of Hamm who thought they would be better received if he wrote them under the name of an obscure country yokel.”

There are some academics escaping from occupied Europe who have brought descriptions of the system which they have refused to accept.
One of them brought a German pamphlet saying Education will make the Norwegians a Nordic people according to our conception.”

Because most of the Norwegian students and academics did not agree with the German conception the University of Oslo is closed and the staff arrested, together with some of the students.
They have all been put into concentration camps and that means they will be deported to Germany and used as an impressed labour force.

Every academic in Europe fears for the future. They dare not keep their laboriously researched notes in case the contents of their books are used against them.

Perhaps when we have won this war most of them will be able to start again, but even if they survive some of them will be too old or too dispirited to do that.

The realisation of how much is being lost makes me value my own security and stiffens my determination to overcome my feelings of frustration and failure and work through the hard years ahead to get a Bachelor of Science.

October 7th
For the first time since my arrival in Bristol I heard the air raid sirens. I was attending a meeting of the Music and Dramatic Club when they went at 7.35 p.m. and the All Clear had gone by the time the meeting finished.

In Mum’s letter she says Barbara is playing the organ in Lingfield Church now that I have gone. Barbara will really enjoy herself as she is a musician, whereas I was just filling in.

I am starting to find my way around the University and Royal Fort is a very interesting place.
We must show a pass to get in at the massive gates and inside there are well-tended grounds surrounding a five storey stone building.
There is a staircase which gives access to each floor except the fourth one. Across the end of the fourth floor corridor is a floor-to-ceiling steel wall.

We are not allowed to use the lift but I understand that it is fixed so that it does not stop at the fourth floor without a special code from the operator.
I have to go up to the fifth floor as there is a small Physics laboratory where I work.

All the experiments are arranged on benches round the walls because the centre of the room is occupied by a massive structure enclosed in a porcelain dome. I have no idea what is under it and in this war we have all learned not to ask any questions.

On the ground floor and the first floor are lecture theatres. Their seats are arranged in three blocks which are tiered so that the space between the blocks form a staircase.
The lecturer’s demonstration bench is backed by an array of blackboards and screens and he can operate these as well as the lights and blinds by a switch-board attached to the demonstration bench.

We have amongst my Physics lecturers two men who have escaped from Hitler’s persecutions. I think one is from Czechoslovakia and the other from Austria. Although at first I had a job to understand their accented English it is easier now that I have got to know Dr Pincherle and Dr Aharoni.
In the Mathematics department we have an Italian called Vicenzio Consolato Antonio Ferraro.

I would not like to have to enter that lot on all these official forms that we are constantly required to fill in.
At first he reminded me of a gorilla because he is so dark and hairy, but I must learn not to judge people by their appearances because we have another student, Tom Bruk, and when I got to know him I found he was a caring thoughtful boy very like Gordon.

Blog note: I believe the above-mentioned 'Vicenzio Consolato Antonio Ferraro' is in fact 'Vincenzo Consolato Antonio Ferraro', who has had publications in the science community including "An introduction to magneto-fluid mechanics" and "Electromagnetic theory."

For Applied Mathematics I have Dr Henderson who is the Sub-Dean of the Science faculty and a very good teacher so at last I am beginning to understand the work.
In Physics practical I have Phyllida Baker for a partner.

She is a first year Medical student but since there are not enough staff for the first years they have to share with the Intermediate Science students for lectures in Physics, Chemistry, Botany and Zoology.

It is very hard work studying four practical subjects because for every practical subject we spend six hours a week in the laboratories.
I may have failed Physics for Higher School Certificate but I know much more about it than Phyllida and I find that in helping her to understand it I am clarifying my own ideas.
The women’s cloakroom is on the ground floor and it is impressive too.

There are twenty lavatories but at the moment only a pile of newspaper on the floor because of a shortage of toilet rolls.
Since the newspapers have been reduced to four pages I hope we don’t run out of that too.

October 8th
On the news this morning we were told of Hitler’s latest outrage. Because some
inhabitants of a village helped two of our airmen who were shot down, the Gestapo have shot everyone in the village and then burnt it to the ground.

This village is called Lidice and on arrival for our first lecture I was stunned to hear Dr Henderson saying “I am sorry to tell you that Mr Wolf will be missing from our class this morning, but I am very grieved to have to tell you that his home is Lidice. The College have a special fund which will take care of him financially for the rest of his course but when he returns tomorrow it is your responsibility to see that he retains the desire to go on living.”

At the start of the lecture I happened to notice that one of the male students was trying to hide a smug self-satisfied smirk from those of us who were struggling to hide our tears.

I was furious but not surprised because I do not like that student.

He is a Bristol University undergraduate and since our classes commenced he has been trying to impress us with his superiority by declaring he is related to the Chancellor of Bristol University.
I don’t think that entitles him to look down on the rest of us as inferior beings.

Fortunately Tom Bruk walked along the corridor with me at the end of the lecture and his attitude is akin to mine.
I have been terribly homesick and have worked endlessly to try and fill the void left by my family activities but I get regular letters from all of them and my village is there waiting for my return.

I just do not know how I could survive if that mental image was shattered in one news item. Tom and I will do our best to support Emil when he comes back tomorrow.

October 20th
I am getting to know the librarian quite well because I spend every lunch hour studying in the library.

Our board only covers an evening meal and bed and breakfast. Since I have no money I cannot go to the canteen to get any lunch.
So Dad is posting me food parcels containing fruit and vegetables from his garden. It does not take me long to eat a stick of celery, a raw carrot and an apple. Then I grab a drink of water from the tap before climbing the stairs to the library on the first floor.

I am in the first Hockey eleven. Marjorie Pollard (the pre-war Captain of England) is coaching us and two of the other girls in our digs have joined the club.
Dorothy Richards comes from a little Welsh mining village called Aberfan and she is a keen hockey player and is the reserve for the first team, but Irene Harper, who comes from Harrow, has joined to get an extra bath at the club-house as she is used to having more than one bath a week, which is all Mrs Musgrove allows us.

I felt sorry for Irene last Saturday because she was enjoying her soak when I arrived for my quick bath following the first team match.

I had just got my clothes off when Joan Jones, our Captain, rushed in shouting “Get out of that bath Harper and, Head get your clothes back on, the second team’s opponents have just turned up and half of the team went home when the match was cancelled so I’m collecting a scratch team to give them a game.”
Of course I loved having an extra game but Irene was not at all pleased and thinks she might be better joining the Rowing Club.

We had another air raid the other night but I did not hear or see any activity. I think if they did drop any bombs they would only re-arrange the rubble.

The country is running out of raw materials so there are men all over the city cutting off the iron railings from the parks and houses.
I notice that all the other railings have been taken from the University but not the iron gates at the entrance to Royal Fort.

I was hopeful as I know I will be late for lectures one morning because it always takes me an age to find my pass. Mum sends me on Gordon’s letters and I am pleased to read in one of them that he has recovered from Mabel’s desertion.

October 29th
I had a letter from Dad today and he told me Alan Jarrett is dead.
He was killed in exactly the same place as the Duke of Kent so there must be something peculiar about the mountains in Scotland for two planes to have mysteriously flown into them.

All day I have been trying to realise that the young boy who whizzed paper darts across the classroom at me is dead.
Each time I tried to think of him blown to pieces I could only see the window cord by his desk with a message pinned on it for me and his grinning face bent studiously over his Latin primer.
I must accept that his hands will never write another message for me or anyone else and that those intense blue eyes are closed for ever.

I must sit down and write to Gordon, as putting if off will not make me feel any better and Gordon is isolated from all the people who knew Alan too, so he will understand how I feel.

Blog note: I have searched for information on the death of Alan Jarrett, discovering the following from the Bureau of Aircraft Accidents Archives - https://www.baaa-acro.com/crash/crash-bristol-152-beaufort-i-near-largs-2-killed

While I cannot be certain that the Alan Jarrett noted as part of this crash was the same mentioned in the diary, the information seems to add up. This diary entry is from October 29, 1941. The crash I've found happened on October 27, 1941, in a Bristol 152 Beaufort no less. The planes that my great uncle Gordon flew were Bristol Beauforts, so it seems likely that this crash is where Alan Jarret - who granny knew - was killed.

November 2nd
There was an air raid last night and in my hurry to get out of the streets I barged into a lamp post in the dark. I have a black eye and broken spectacle frames.
I am glad it was only the frames as the laboratory technician has managed to stick them back together for me, because I have not money for any new ones.

Beryl Minter has lent me a pattern for a pair of shorts to make from my old school gym-slip.
I cannot afford to buy the official gear for the hockey team but I am knitting a red jumper and blue and red socks, so with these shorts I will be near enough correct.

Next to me in the Chemistry laboratory is a nice young man and we often help each other with our analysis.
He is very good with the ‘brown ring test’ for nitrates. I was telling him about some of the other girls in my digs teasing me relentlessly because I had not got a boy friend.

Donald agrees with me that all that sex nonsense can wait until we have our degrees, but, since he is suffering in the same way as me, we have cooked up a scheme to get these sex-orientated students off our backs.

November 22nd
Today Donald and I put our scheme into action. None of the girls believed me when I announced “Tonight my boy friend is taking me to the cinema”, so it was with great satisfaction that I watched them peeping through their bedroom curtains looking for his arrival.

I was not expecting him to put on quite such a show. He arrived in a hired Rolls Royce with a gardenia for my corsage.
When I was in the car with him I voiced my consternation at the expense and he said “ You see Margaret I happen to be a very wealthy man, but I do hope that it won’t ruin our friendship, because I can buy almost anything except the companionship of somebody like you.”

When I had recovered from my surprise I started to laugh and he had to stop the car because when he joined in we were so amused the tears were running down our faces.
We had a jolly good time at the film which was ‘Fantasia’ and we know that we can both enjoy a friendship with no strings attached.

November 29th
I have been to the station and bought my train ticket for Lingfield.
As soon as I finish my last examination at the end of term I shall get the first train home.
I keep the ticket on my bedside table as a visible consolation that I shall soon be away from this alien environment.

Until now I dared not think too much of home as I could not have stayed here a moment longer.

December 5th
My last examination finished at 12 noon and as I had taken my case to College and
left it in the cloakroom, as soon as I had handed in my exam papers I grabbed my case and made for the station.

I just caught the 2.35 p.m. train to Paddington which arrived there at 6.20 p.m and by getting the Underground from there to Victoria I caught the 7.45 p.m. train home.

What joy it was to walk along the familiar roads again and my case was as light as a feather the whole way.
We have not had time to talk yet as it was bedtime by the time I arrived but tomorrow we can start catching up on all the news.

December 14th
The rationing has been extended and conscription brought in for women, but none
of it matters to us because we have a telegram from Gordon.

HE IS IN BOURNEMOUTH AND HOPES TO BE HOME NEXT TUESDAY.

I cannot wait to see him again. Barbara and I have been up to church to express our happiness by playing the organ.
It was pouring with rain but the magnificent music was filled with sunshine and even the air feels different.

I must say that Barbara is very good, much better than me and they are lucky to have her as their organist.
We also have a letter from cousin Bob. He has been lucky too, because after completing his radio training at Cranwell, he’s been posted to an operational training unit which is only 15 miles from Hull.

They are there to accept emergency landings of bombers limping home after raiding Germany.
He has a bicycle and gets home and into Hull for visits to dances, theatres and cinemas.

December 16th
Dad and I met every train after 6 p.m but Gordon has not arrived. We are all
terribly disappointed but perhaps shall hear something more tomorrow.

December 17th
At 3 p.m. another telegram arrived and at 4.50 p.m. Gordon walked in.

I dashed straight down the ‘Works’ to get Dad and left Mum and Barbara with him.

Gordon unpacked his bags after tea and there were marvellous presents for all of us.
Mum has carved ivory elephants and a lovely chased brass bowl which has an unusual wooden stand which opens up into three entwined snakes with glittering eyes and inlaid ivory body markings.
Barbara has a gorgeous buttercup yellow twin-set and Dad lots of nick-nacks to display on his office desk but for me a Wings brooch which I can wear forever on my left breast.

I cannot get to sleep for thinking of Gordon sleeping in the next bedroom again.

December 24th
We are having a wonderful time this Christmas. Gordon managed to get some
petrol coupons for his motor-bike and I am tearing around on the pillion with him.

We went to Redhill and he demanded that they made the sleeves of my costume longer.
Then we went to dinner with Mr and Mrs Callard one night. Last night we went to a Christmas party at the Hankeys and tonight we are filling a stocking for Mum and a couple of socks for Dad.

We’ve used all our sweet coupons for items and Gordon had kept some little items for these Christmas stockings.
Mum will love her butterfly brooch and Dad will have his unusual pencils on display in his office.

I hope Gordon likes the cover I have embroidered for his Rolls razor. I have put his name and service number on one side of it and a set of wings on the other side.

December 25th
We went to early communion and Megan Bowls came for tea and then we spent
the evening playing Lexicon and other games.

December 26th
Gordon brought a girl called Joan Stewart to tea today. We had never seen her before but apparently she is the new receptionist at our dentist.

I have finished my hockey jumper and embroidered a lovely blue Reggie Rampant standing on a pair of crossed hockey sticks on the front of it.

December 28th
Dad and I went up to Waterloo with Gordon today. He has gone for operational training so from now on my life will be shadowed by the constant thought that I could lose him forever.